In the past I have hated small talk. It has usually made me anxious. It felt like talking without purpose. Coming up with a topic to start a conversation and then coming up with a segue to end it is hard. But the conversation itself isn’t without purpose. The goal of small talk is to connect. It is to find commonality with another people and maybe spark a little bit of joy or happiness. It isn’t about trying to impress anyone. But it is about sharing and commiserating with other people and creating more little sparks of joy in everyday life.
Another observation. Friends and shared history becomes less common between people as you age. It is very nice to be able to share experiences with others without having to start from ground zero. It’s nice to not have to suss people out or know if you can trust them or now.
Another observation. When small talking don’t even complement someone and then put another person down. A complement should stand on its own. Trashing another person doesn’t takes away from the complement given and makes your look bad.
Pack mentality. It’s amassing how strong it is. It’s always cool to feel it. I feel like being in a frat is something that I have really struggled with for a long time. It’s part of my identity that I haven’t really been able to square with the rest of my life. In most things a hardcore individualist. But in the frat you become part of a pack. That sucks when you feel that the pack is an embarrassment. But it’s also nice when you are mostly with the pack and you all feel bonded together and everyone outside of the group is excluded.